Final Rsident Fltr Fntsy 7 Solid:Director's Ct
by BlackDelo
Summary: A funny little action filled crossover. Hockey lovers prepare!
1. Intro

Socom and SkoolHackr: Final Resident Filter Fantasy VII Solid: Director's Cut

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They either belong to Capcom, Konami, Square, 989, George Gund, Dallas Stars, Colorado Avalanche, or New York Rangers. I did not make any money off of this so get over it! Thank You. 

Prelude: CAPTURED, again..........

Tifa owns a bar in San Jose called "Stover's Pub" in the corner of Cahalan and Santa Teresa. The time 1:00 AM she is wearing her usual clothes. She walks to her Chevy Lumina and takes out her keys. Then two men in suits pop out they take out duct tape

Tifa: Help! Man I wish Cloud was here.

(Tifa yells, but no one responds.)

Reno: You bitch!

Her mouth is taped and she is gagged.

Rude: Uh, be careful.

Reno: Oh shut up with your little wet dreams.

Reno throws Tifa into the back of the Crown Victoria.

Reno: Heh-Heh-Heh Rufus will give us a raise!

Rude: Hell yeah!

Meanwhile in Mountain View Surplus on Bascom Avenue in Campbell. Meryl is

locking up the store for closing. Elena pops out of the shadows and bashes Meryl's head with a lead pipe

she falls onto the ground. She drags her into the Crown Victoria .

Elena: I love lead pipes.

Elena:Were done throw'em into the damn truck!

Reno: I should say that! I am the leader you know!

Eleana: Shut your piehole!

Tifa and Meryl are dragged into the truck. They both wake up and Tifa's arms are jittering.

She looks at Meryl.

Tifa: I am freeziiin'.

(Tifa shrugs her arms)

Meryl: Yeahhh....

Tifa: My metal knukule glove.

Meryl: My .50 cal.

Tifa and Meryl: This suxs!

Tifa: Brr..(cough)

Tifa: Can't move.

Meryl: Yeah.

Tifa are strapped to two stretchers stolen from a hospital.

Tifa: Stereotypical. Just stereotypical.

The truck parks into the San Jose Arena

Reno: Shut up!!

Screen Fades out

The next day a condo in Santa Cruz. Cloud walks around and look supisious. He takes off his ray-bans. 

Cloud: Tifa?!

Cloud looks into the room.

Cloud:Baby?!

Cloud:Tifa!!

He looks around the bedroom empty nothing.

Cloud:TIFA!!!(Yell is heard dogs bark, car alarms sound,and window breaks)

Cloud:Oh ,oops.

Meanwhile at the Arena Tifa and Meryl are escorted to the cat walk. Tifa looks down at the hockey rink.

Liquid pushes both of them next to the scoreboard.

Tifa: Gulp!

Meryl: Uhm man I am scared.

Tifa: Hold me,Cloud.

Meryl: Stop hallucinating.

Tifa and Meryl are chained to the scoreboard.

Tifa: Cloud!

Meryl:Snake!

Tifa: I'll try something!

A red glow flows over Tifa.

Tifa: Uhh can't.

Rufus:Heh-Heh-Heh You're not able to use your limit breaks here!

Tifa: Man!

Rufus laughs while Liquid has a camcoreder in his hand.

Rufus pulls out cue cards to read his lines. the Turks to 

a few seconds later.

Reno: You must challange us to game of hockey! 

Rude: Yeah,you spikey assed prick.

Rufus: Or will make your girls fall into the rink and smash them if you lose ha-ha-ha-ha!

Liquid: There blood splattered below.

(Turks and Liquid Snake laugh along with him. The english bad ass and the Turks stop laughing.)

Rufus:Ha-Ha-Ha!

The only one laughing is Rufus

Rufus: Oh!

Liquid and Rufus drive to Cloud's home and throw the tape into his condo. There faces filled with 

happiness,EVIL happiness.

Meanwhile at Muni Stadium. Solid Snake is living out his dream doing play-by-play for San Jose Giants game (Minor Leauge team). The crowd is almost filled to capacity. The crowd walks out because the game is over and Snake drives down the Alma Avenue toward Highway 87 in his Shelby Cobra.

Snake: Meryl I thought we were going to have a night on the town.

He presses the intercom and keeps pressing the button labeled Meryl.

Snake: You drunk? You high?! What the fuck?!

Snake walks the Apartment's stairs which look very clean. He tries to open the door, but it's locked.

He looks through the peep hole. He sees nothing just like Cloud.

Snake: Does this have to do in what happned in Fox-Island?!

Snake: Meryl!!

Land Lord: It's you!

Snake pulls out his SMG and aims at the fat chunky Land Lord. 

Snake: Here some bullets for you pudgy!

The SMG emitts a dart like sound due to it's slinencer

Land Lord: Ahh my legs.

Land Lord's knees bleed and he crys on the floor

Snake walks outside the apartment aparmtents office and crarrys him and chokes him in one hand.

Snake: Who payed you to do this?! Answer Me!

Land Lord: No!

Land Lord: Don't kill me!

Snake kills the land lord and drags'em next to the toilet. He walks out and drives his Shelby with a hint of anger on his face.

Snake: Does this have to do with Meryl? Were the hell is she?

Snake drives to Santa Cruz to Cloud's on highway 17. The car zooms at 100 MPH and stops and breaks right in front of the condo. 

Snake walks into condo number 7 and sees Cloud drinking whiskey cup by cup like he was some drunk walking down the street not knowing what the hell he's doing.

Cloud: Hic! Hic!

Snake: Stop drinking,bastard!

Cloud begans to cough and runs the bathroom.

Snake looks around and sees a videotape on the ground.

Cloud: Oh your Snake from Escape from L.A.

Snake: No! I worked for goverment for a short time, but it was stressfull and made me depress.

Some piano music begins to play

Cloud: Stop making this melodramatic,and whats that in your hand?

Solid Snake puts the VHS Tape into the VCR and presses play on player.

The TV is turned on and a picture of Tifa and Meryl tied to the scoreboard.

Liquid Snake and Rufus stand up.

Liquid: Meet at the San Jose Arena or these two girls will drop and fall into ring and all they'll be is red mush on the floor. They're blood a deep contrast with the white ice.

The Turks enter and they are walking on the cat walks.

Reno: You must challange us to game of hockey! 

Rude: Yeah,you spikey assed prick.

Rufus: Or will make your girls fall into the rink and smash them if you lose ha-ha-ha-ha!

Turks and Liquid Snake laugh along with him. The english bad ass and the Turks stop laughing.

Rufus:Ha-Ha-Ha!

The only one laughing is Rufus

Rufus: Oh!

The TV turns off and there is only static.

Cloud and Snake: Damn those motherfuckingsonofabitches!!!!!!!

Snake: Meryl!

Cloud: Tifa!

Cloud: Do you know how to play hockey?

Snake: Sort of

Cloud: SORT OF! Tifa and Meryl's lives are at stake and you SORT OF know how to play hockey!

I don't either. 

Solid Snake drives away to somewere to think. Cloud decides to call SCEA(Sony Computer Entertainment) to send someone to investigate WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING. About and hour or so later The SCEA agent, Socom, has arrived at Cloud's condo. Snake has already arrived back from his mind clearing drive.

SOCOM: My name is Socom im the agent from SCEA sent to inveatigate WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE.

Cloud: I'll tell you WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE! Those goddamnmuthafuckinsunuvabitch Turks kidnapped our women.

Snake: Those bastards sent this tape.

(They show Socom the tape)

Socom: Holy crap! This is bad. I wish i knew someone who could help us.

(Socom stands there contemplating what he's gonna do. Then all of a sudden....)

SOCOM: Aghh What the!?

Cloud: What?

SOCOM: Why me aghhh!!

(SOCOM falls and dies due to a biological weapon. Foxdie. He's dead.)

(Cloud checks his pulse)

Cloud: Dead........it looked like a heart attack or something.

Snake: Heart attack my ass; i know Foxdie when i see it. The Turks are one step ahead of us.

(Socom is dead. But God seeing how Socom got screwed over resurects him back from the dead and also seeing how he needs to be in San Jo and needs a hockey expert. Puts him in the backyard of a hockey expert in San Jo.)

(Skool is sitting on is back deck feeding quail. Then all of a sudden up on the hill Socom's body materializes)

SOCOM: Whoa! I'm back from the dead! Thank God! But where am I?

Skool: (With a perplexed look on his face) Welcome to San Jo.

SOCOM: A forest what the?!

Skool: Nope, my backyard. Who are you?

Socom: The names Socom. I work for SCEA. I was in Santa Cruz investigating a kidnapping. The Turks kidnapped Tifa Lockheart and Meryl Silverburgh.

(Socom tells Skool about the whole predicament with the hockey game.)

Skool: Hockey illiterate schmucks getting their women kidnapped and then getting challenged to a hockey game. Unbelivable.

Socom: I'll have to show you the tape. Which reminds me, I gotta call Cloud and Snake. They're probaly wondering WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED to me.

(Skool gives Socom the phone and Socom precedes to call the condo.)

(The phone rings at the condo. Cloud picks up.)

Cloud: Hello.

Socom: Its me Socom.

Cloud: Dude WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

Socom: It seems somhow i was injected with Foxdie and I died, but God resurected me. He put me in San Jo. How bout that I've already got a head start.

Cloud: Really?

Socom: Yeah. And I think I 've found someone to help us. Get over here and bring the tape. (Socom tells Cloud and Snake the Skool's address and they head over to San Jo. About an hour later they arrive at Skool's House and preced to show him the tape.)

Skool: (Talking to Snake) Man, your brother is one crazy stiff ass brit.

Snake: Don't remind me.

(The four of them sit down at the table)

Skool: We have a 48-period to get our team together. Let's get to work.

Cloud: I know of some one who has dealt with bastards worse than this. The undead kind.

(Cloud calls SCEA)

Cloud: Hey is this Sony?

Sony: Sony customer service line how can i help you?

Cloud: yeah I am an employee from Squaresoft I need to contact Capcom.

Sony: Capcom? A joint operation?

Cloud: uhh... yeah sorta

(Sony operator pulls Capcom number from datatbase and gives it to Cloud. He calls Capcom.)

Cloud: Hello? is this Capcom?

Capcom: Yes it is. How may i help you sir?

Cloud: I'm from Squaresoft. I need to talk to one of your police employees from Racoon City. i need his help.

The call is being connected.

(Leon's House)

(Leon watching a baseball game because its summer and hockey season doesn't start till october)

(Phone rings)

Leon: o great, right in the middle of the freakin game! It had better not be more reporters asking if i'm THAT KIND OF KENNEDY. Zombies are more descent than some of those people.

(Leon picks up phone)

Leon: WHAT?!

Cloud: dude, Leon relax its cloud.

Leon: Cloud? Oh yeah your that dude from Squaresoft with that big Menudo Blade right?

Cloud: Buster Blade. Anyway we got trouble and we need your help.

Leon: Trouble? what kind of trouble

Cloud: The turks captured Tifa and Meryl. They're at the Arena in San Jo. The turks challenged us to a hockey game. If we win Tifa and Meryl go free, but if we lose Meryl and Tifa are gonna become cherry syrup on a sno cone.

Leon: ouch. Thats not a good image. Meryl? So im guessing Snake is with y'all too. Hmm... i'll help but we need some one who doesn't take crap from anyone.

(Leon thinking of someone)

Leon: Hmmm..... I got it! Gimmie a second I'm gonna put us on three way with someone.

(Claire's Cycle Center. Claire working on a motorcycle. Phone rings. Claire sets her stuff down and answers phone)

Claire: Hello

Leon: Claire this is Leon.

Claire: O hi wzup. I hope its not zombies!

Leon: Unbelivably, no its not. Someone from Squaresoft is in a jam. He kinda needs us for "joint project."

Cloud: Claire, this is Cloud.

Claire: Cloud? oh yeah the dude with the big Menudo Blade.

Cloud: Buster Blade.

(Cloud tells Claire the same thing he told Leon. Claire and Leon agree to be on the team.)

(Back at Skool's house)

Skool: We still need more people.

Snake: You're the hockey expert you tell us who we should use.

Skool: Relax i know of some off the top of my head, but you'll have to think of some too.

(Skool thinking of goalies; first string and back up.)

Skool: i got it. I know who we could use for goalies.

the other 3: Who?

Skool: EL ESCUDO!

Other 3: EL Escudo?!

Skool: El escudo; its spanish for "the shield" We could get steve shields. i would use Mike Vernon except he's a family guy and i wouldn't want him getting killed. But we need a back up for steve in case he gets hurt or sumthin.

(Skool is thinkin)

Skool: Brodeur Chick

Socom: who the hell are you talking bout?

Skool: i'm talkin bout my friend Brodeur Chick. (This is not her real name or her screen name we are using an alias for privacy purposes) I met her in an AOL chat room. She's a goalie chick from Jersey. Jersey, i still think its the compost pile of the world, but that compost grows some pretty nice flowers!

Snake: yeah (wondering whats going thru Skool's head)

(Doorbell rings)

Skool: I wonder who that could be?

(Answers door. Leon and Claire are standing there with shotgun and machine gun)

Skool: How nice y'all remembered weapons. You got here kinda fast.

Leon and Claire: (looking at Snake) The people at Konami ain't the only ones who can open up a blue portal wherever they want to. (Snake smirks)

Skool: Yeah sure whatever. Anyway you two wanna join us we were talkin bout who we're gonna recruit for the team.

(Claire and Leon sit down)

Leon: Ok who we got so far.

Skool: Everyone here and we are gonna call El Escudo and BrodeurChick.

Claire: Anybody else?

Cloud: We were just talkin bout that.

Skool: The Granato's!

Claire: Both of them? O joy! Cammi Granato is just one of the women I look up to.

Skool: I can contact Tony and Cammi. (Turns on Speakerphone and Dials Tony's number)

(Somwhere in San Jose, Tony is polishing his Masterdon Trophy. The phone rings)

Tony: Hello.

Skool: Hey Tony, its Skool.

Tony: Wzup

Skool: Tony, we got a problem, a hockey problem, a BIG hockey problem.

Tony: Explain

Skool: Tifa and Meryl have been captured. There being held captive at The Arena. The Turks captured them. They Challenged us to a hockey game. If we win Meryl and Tifa will be let go, if we lose they're gonna be Syrup on a white pancake.

Tony: Ugh! i gotta skate on that. Lemme call my sister she can help us. (Tony calls home. Cammi's house in Downers Grove, Illinois. Cammi is polishing her Gold Medal. The phone rings.)

Cammi: Hello.

Tony: Sis, its Tony.

Cammi: Hi Tony, whats the dillio?

Tony: You remember my friend Skool?

Cammi: Yeah.

Tony: He has a situation down here in San Jose. Tifa and Meryl have been taken prisoner.

Cammi: Video game characters? Whoa. Its amazing how you can slam reality with fiction. I guess thats why they call them fanfics.

Tony: Anyway The Turks are holding them at the Arena. They challenged us to a hockey game if we win they go free if we lose Tifa and Meryl become a Splat on the ice. and i know what its like to get your brain bashed in. its not very comfortable.

Cammi: Thats not a pretty picture.

(Tony and Cammi agree to help. Back at Skool's house.)

Skool: ok. who do we have so far?

(Socom reads his list.)

Socom: Me, Skool, Cloud, Snake, Leon, Claire,Tony, Cammi.

Skool: I need to call our goalies. El Escudo and (sigh!) my little cracker with tabasco sauce, Brodeur Chick. (Everyone looks at Skool wondering if he's on something.)

(Skool places a three way call to Steve Shields and Brodeur Chick)

Shields and Brodeur Chick: Hello

Skool: Steve; Brodeur Chick (Skool not refering to Brodeur Chick by real name for Privacy Purposes). It's Skool.

Shields: Yeah What do you need?

Skool: the Turks captured tifa and Meryl. They challenged us to a hockey game.

Brodeur Chick: A hockey game, eh?

Skool: yeah we need goalies so i thought of you two.

Shields: Kewl

Brodeur Chick: How Sweet.

Skool: Not really since there is gonna be weapons during the third period. Anyway The Turks said if we win Meryl and Tifa will be released, but if we lose they're gonna become strawberry ice cream.

Brodeur Chick: ewwww!

Shields: Ack! i gotta skate on that.

(Though reluctant because of weapons the two goalies agree.)

(5 hours later everyone shows up at Skool's house)

Skool: Ok everybody listen up. I've taken a good look at all of us and i realized we need someone who can score.

Socom: I can score!

Skool: Not that kind of scoring. I meant in the game. Hmm.........Vinnie!

Cloud: Vincent?

Skool: Not your Vincent, the NHL Vincent. Vincent Damphousse!

(Skool preceds to make another call on Speaker phone to Montreal, Quebec)

(At Damps' house. Damps is crying over the fact that he isn't playing for Montreal anymore. But he stops because he realizes how much he likes playing for SJ since there isn't as much media pressure. Phone rings)

Damps: Hello.

Tony: Hey Damps this is Tony. We got predicament here in San Jo.

Shields: Yeah man.This is some serious stuff. 

(They tell Damps bout the kidnapping)

Tony: If we win we celebrate by drinking Bloody Marys. If we don't win we're gonna be seeing a Bloody Meryl.

Damps: Oh man! I gotta skate on that.

(Damps arrives at Skool's house.)

Skool: Listen here folks. It has come to my attention that besides Damps, Shields and the Granatos; we are SCRUB HOCKEY PLAYERS. We might not win this.

Snake: Is this some kind of motavation or something?!

Skool: Shut up and listen! During the game 17,483 screaming fans are gonna be concentrating on us.

All: yeah, So?

Skool: So, since no one isn't looking up at the catwalk wouldn't it be great if someone was getting Meryl and Tifa down from there?

All: YEAH!

Skool: We need someone who has a medical background becuase they're gonna be beaten and cold. LOGAN!

All: Who?

Skool: Gabriel Logan.

Socom: oh Yeah! That dude. Let me call 989 Studios.

(Socom places his call to 989.)

Socom: Hello 989?

989: yes this is 989 how may i help you?

Socom: I'm an agent from SCEA. I need you to connect me to CBDC. I need to talk to Gabe Logan. It's important.

989: One moment please.

(The call is being patched through. In a Government building Gabe is giving himself imunization shots and sucking down Vitamin Cs because the summer flu is going round. The phone rings.)

Gabe: Ack! (nearly breaks the needle while it is in his arm) Dammit! Why do they call me when im try to innouculate myself! I gotta take phone off the hook when I inject vaccinations!

(Gabe picks up the phone)

Gabe:(deep sigh)Whothehellisthiswhatthehelldoyouwantthishadbetterbeimportantoragoodlookingwoman.

Socom: SCEA agent smart ass. You had better calm the hell down.

Gabe: Oh, what do you want.

Socom: We have a Medical\Espinogue situation. We need you to bust out two hostages. So, get yourself over here to San Jo. And i know it'll only be 15 mins because you g-men have that secret underground train. So don't play dumb with me. Make sure you bring your medical stuff, too. 

(Socom hangs up)

Gabe: Your welcome.

(15 minutes later)

Gabe: Ok im here. What is this situatuion you all are bitchin bout.

Cloud : Back down sunavabich.

Skool: Hey! Everybody freakin relax or I'll shoot you all! 

(Everybody calms down. Skool tells Gabe bout the situation.)

Gabe: Gonna be dropped on the ice ,eh? I think I can get them outta there. You had better make sure everybody is paying attention to the game. (Pulls out his medkit full of needles.) Speaking of double checking things, we had better make sure we're all vaccinized for Foxdie. The Turks already got to Socom once before.

Claire: Where did you get that vaccine?

Gabe: I'm a medical expert who works for the government. They kinda have to give it to me. Even the government has SOME obligations.

Snake: Really? I didn't know that. All I got is a log cabin in middle of nowhere Alaska.

Claire: But isn't Foxdie a programmable virus? You'd have to program a vaccine.

Gabe: true. This isn't a true vaccine. But it will slow down the process.

Skool: Groovy, shoot me up.

(Everyone is vaccinized)

Meanwhile at the Kollmar apartments the Turks are creating there own team. People from San Jo may remember the Kollmar Apartments from the no roof incident back in '96 with EL NINO. The Kollmar Apartments are located on Kollmar Avenue right at the intersection of Story Road and Capitol Expressway.

Liquid: Listen up you scrubs we need a hockey team. The most evilest hockey team ever assembled.

Reno: (Eating a bag of pork rinds)"BURP!"

Liquid: Are you trying to help?!

Reno: Shut up you stiff ass Brit! Give me a minute to think. Let me put my light bulb above my head.

(After a minute the light bulb lights up above his head)

Reno: I got it! I know of somebody this whole city hates! BEL4!

Liquid: I underestimated you. You are evil.

Reno: Hmm, I thought you were gonna tell me something i didn't know.

Rude: So what. I can think of someone just as evil. Ol' short stuff himself. THEOREN FLEURY.

Reno: Damn!

Rude: San Jo hates him as much as BEL4. That little freak is gonna freakin terrorize those freakin do-gooders. Freakin A!

Liquid: We still need more people:

(Eleana and Scarlett sitting on the couch. Eleana polishing her lead pipe)

Eleana and Scarlett: We know of someone.

Liquid: Whom would that be?

Eleana: She is from Russia.

Scarlett: She is known as "The bitch who won't die".

Eleana: No matter how many times you shoot at her she just doesn't die. Mara Aramov

Scarlett: I don't think she's human. Have you ever played Syphon Filter? I don't remember seeing her in direct sunlight once during that whole game.

Liquid: (Smiling) Perfect! She's just like the IRS; a relentless bloodsucker. Hahahahah! We need a complete bastard though. A French Canadian maybe? Its wrong to be French. Its even worse to be French Canadian. Unless, you're Vinnie Damphousse, Mario Lemieux, J.F. Quintin, Ben Wagnon, or Martin Brodeur.

(Something clicks in Liquid's messed up mind.)

Liquid: Speaking of Lemieux. How bout Claude! Tha man is a bastard. He'll fit in wonderfully. And we can afford the three NHLers because of my investments I made into a small software company which was then, in 1976, based in Alberquerque now based in Seattle.

Reno: You wern't born until 1979.

Liquid: This is just a fanfic it doesn't have to make sense. Anyway, we still need to fill up the roster though.

Rufus: Yoo-hoo. I got something that'll fill up the rest of the roster.

All: What?

Rufus: This here. (Pulls out a bottle. On it it says Eric Lindros-Tyrant Pills. Just add water. "Umbrella, we make genetic mutations for a better future.")

Rufus: Watch this. (Sets a pill down. Puts water on it. It starts shaking. POOF!)

Rude: Holy Crap! Its a tyrant! And it looks like Eric Lindros! We're sure to win!

Eleana and Scartlett: We love Eric Lindros! Too bad its just a tyrant that looks like him. But that probaly won't matter.

Liquid: Dont get too attached to theses things will you. I need to get Fleury. (Calls New York Rangers.)

NYR: Hello how may I help you sir?

Liquid: Get Me Theoren Fleury. I wanna talk to him about......advertisment deals.

NYR: One moment please.

Fleury: AD contract?! :)

Liquid: No I just said that to get your attention. You still hate San Jo?

Fleury: Yes! I hate those bastards! Those people never give up!

Liquid: Then how bout you play in a game for us in San Jo.

Fleury: No dough. No show.

Liquid: 2 million?

Fleury: You got yourself a hockey player!

(Fleury is now on team)

Rude: I'll call Dallas.

Stars: Dallas Stars hockey organization.

Rude: Belfour, now! I got sumthin thats gonna make his day.

Stars: Hold on.

Belfour: What?!

Rude: You hate SJ right?

Belfour: .......just because I left.

Rude: They really hate you. In fact one dudes liscence plate says BEL4SUX.

Belfour: Dammit, the next time im there im gonna kill them!

Rude: Why wait till hockey season when you can do it now.

Belfour: What?

Rude: We are gonna play them in a hockey game. We're gonna get to drop someone.

Belfour: Really?! I'll play, but I want some money.

Rude: 3 million?

Belfour: You got yourself a goaltender!

(Belfour agrees to tend the goal)

Reno: Now to get that French Canadian bastard. Gimmie that phone.

Avs: Colorado Avalanche

Reno: I need to talk to that Frenchy Cunuck, NOW!

Avs: Hold on.

Claude: Bonjour.

Reno: You wanna make some extra money?

Claude: Money?!

Reno: 2 Million?

Claude: WEE WEE! What do you want me to do?

Reno: Just play hockey for our team.

Claude: You got yourself a Freanch Canadian enforcer.

Rufus: Well looks like we got ourselves a team. Everyone get sum rest. We need it before friday.

(Back at Skool's house.)

Skool: Ok the immunization's are done. Everyone get sum rest. We need to be ready to play on Friday.


	2. First Period

(Friday afternoon)

( Every one is already at the Arena warming up in the locker room. Gabe is there too but no one notices. Cloud and Claire are on their cycles they meet up with Snake, who is in his Shelby Cobra, on highway 87.)

Cloud: We better win this game!

Snake: Tell me sumthin I don't know!

Claire: Guys look out up on the overpass!

(Genome soldiers are up on the over pass shooting at them)

Snake: Ambush!

(Claire breaks out her machine gun and mows them down.)

Cloud: Hummer at 2 o'clock!

(Hummer full of genomes shoots at them. Snake breaks out his socom and shot out the tires.)

Snake: Problem taken care of.

(Hummer slams into a wall)

(Everyone finally arrives at the Arena.) (In the locker room.)

Snake: Dammit! Those freakin Turks had Genomes on the freeway. They tried to ambush us!

Leon: It doesn't stop does it. Let's warm up.

(Up in the broadcast booth)

RH: Im Randy Hahn

SK: And im Steve Konroyd.

RH: we have one hell of a game for you tonite.The good guys versus the eveil sons of bitches.

SK: you betcha Randy. If the Goods wanna win they're gonna hafta follow the game plan.

RH: and we know SkoolHackr is one helluva game planner. He'll probably have something up his sleeve.

(Numerous San Jose celebrities are in the seats. Brandi Chastain, Smash Mouth and Mayor Ron Gonzalez.)

(On the ice. Everybody warming up shooting pucks at Steve and BroduerChick. The Turks are shooting bullets.)

Skool: Dammit, you guys can't wait till we start the game?

Rude: Sorry. HAHAHAH

Claire: You're not sorry you lying son of a bitch!

(Game is about to start. Skool sings the national anthem.)

Skool: Hail to the chief if you don't wanna get killed! Hail to the chief if you don't wanna die, you bastards!

(Referee Paul Stewart is at center ice.)

Stewart: Lets start this game.

(Skool faces off against a Lindros-Tyrant clone)

Skool: Lets rock!

(Stewart drops the puck. Insted of going for puck Lindros clone hits Skool in the groin with his stick.)

Skool: Gasp! ::Groans:: You son of a bitch!

BrodeurChick: Omigod! Skool are you ok?!

Skool: I'm fine but the clone is toast!

Tyrant: Cum get sum!

(Tyrant throws a couple of straight shots. But Skool throws haymakers and uppercuts. He then shoots Tyrant clone with Glock)

Skool: Die you SOB, DIE!

Stewart: TWEET! Bad guys 5 minutes for fighting. Skool 5 minutes for fighting and another 3 for using weapons before the third period!

Snake: Dammit Skool! Now we're gonna be a man short for three minutes.

Skool: Don't worry about it. You got Damps, The Granatos, and The Shield. It's also even strength for 5 minutes. You'll be fine.  
RH: Holy Cow! what an eciting chain of events, and its only one second in to the game! Clone hits Skool in groin. Skool beats down clone and then shoots him.

SK: Well, thats what happens when you mess with Hax.

Tony:ok.....we're a man short but that shouldn't be a prob. Just keep'em outta the zone.

Claire: Nice plan Mister NHLer.

Tony: quit your bitchin! Just hold them till we get back to even strength and will put Damps in. We'll probaly have to put in some enforcers.

Cammi: I hope this worx.

Tony: Don't worry sis, i'm a professsional.

(on the 4-on-4 they mostly shoot the puck back and forth but then it gets to the bad guys three minute power play. Hard bodies come on to the ice.)

Tony: Line change! Snake, Leon, Claire, Socom. Get out there!

Rufus: Power Play line! Lindros, Fleury, Reno, Scarlett, Eleana!

RH: Lindros skates it into the zone. Gives it to Fleury on the side. Fleury looking for a setup. He centers it to Eleana. She skates it in looking for a score......Stolen by Redfield! Redfield takes it up the side but shes slashed by Eleana and its not called!

Claire: Watch it you bitch!

Eleana: Yeah whatever you gun-totting piece of white trash.

Claire: It's little bimbo hos like you who give women's hockey a bad name!

Eleana: Up yours slut!

Claire: Shut you piehole before I shut it for you!

Eleana: Is that a threat?!

Claire: Why don't you come over here and find out you little trick!

RH: and it seems as though Claire Redfield and Eleana have gotten into a cat fight.

SK: Thats no cat fight! They're kicking the crap outta each other. Hmm....watching this seems to make my pants shrink.

Cammi: Kick her ass Claire! Kick her ass!

Scarlett: Waste her Eleana! Waste her!

Cammi: Yeah right! Claire will beat her sorry ass!

Scarlett: Those sound like fighting words!

Cammi: you want them to be?!

Scarlett: You want it, come over her and get it!

( Now, Cammi and Scarlett are fighting with each other)

Snake: damn! They're killing each other!

Socom: Wow! Watching this is making my pants shrink.

Leon: I knew Claire was tough but damn, i didn't know she was THAT tough!

Skool: (From the penalty box) O great another penalty. At least mine is up in about 45 seconds. At least I'll be in here with someone good looking. Hmm.....watching this fight is making my pants shrink.

Stewart: Break it up! 5 minutes for fighting Eleana and Redfield. Cammi and Scarlett get misconducts for jumping off of the bench, get your sorry selves to the locker room for the rest of the period.

Skool: (In the box with Claire) Hey...um....could I cuddle with you for the next 45 seconds?

Claire: What?! We're playing the game of our lives and all you can think about is that?! ::sighs:: Well....it is cold and you are KINDA cute......fine, you can cuddle with me, but only till your penalty is up!

Skool: WOO-HOO!

(So as you guessed Skool cuddles up with Claire till his penalty was up)

Skool: My penalty is up! Damps get your sorry French canuck ass out there! We need scoring god dammit.

Damps: Yeah whatever. you fat bitch.

Skool: I heard that you little pussy!

Damps: He wants a score he'll get a score.

RH: And Vincent Damphousse is on the ice now. We should see some scoring now!

SK: Score, score, score, score.

RH: Relax Steve. Damps getting a little defensive here. OMIGOD! Damps just laid out Liquid Snake with a crushing check into the boards!

Damps: Outta my way you stiff ass brit!

RH: Damps is blazing down the ice. Its just him and Belfour........GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! Damps puts it right between the pads and into the five hole!

Damps: Theres your freakin goal! Thers your freakin goal!

Liquid: God dammit! Where the hell is the freakin defense!

Skool: Thank you. Its about damn time.

Reno: Where's our freaking defense?! You're the one that got clocked!

Liquid: Shut your bloody mouth!

Reno:My mouth isn't bloody.

(Liquid gives him a straight shot right at his mouth.)

Liquid: Now it is!

(The teams continue to bicker among themselves until....)

RH: Fleury has the puck he takes a straight shot toward the goal.

SK: Shields is tripped up! Did you see that?! Fleury scores but Shields was tripped.

Lemieux: HAHAHA! Yous be a sucker Shieldsy!

Fleury: Thanx for the trip, Claude! That was cool!

Shields: (In a sarcastic tone.) Yeah, thanx for the trip, Claude. That was REAL cool.

Tony: What the hell was that?! I've been playing in the NHL for over a decade and i know a trip when i see one! That was interfernce!

Stewert: You questioning me, Tony? I'll gladly throw your ass outta this game.

(Tony shuts his mouth.)

(The buzzer sounds at the end of the 1st. The score is 1-1 as the teams walk into the locker rooms.)


	3. Second Period

(In the Good Guys locker room.)

Skool: ok.....one period has gone by and we're even. We do need to step it up a little bit though. We need to stop the rough play and start scoring. We need goals goddamit!

Damps: I got you your freaking goal didn't I?

Skool: (sighs) Yes damps you did. thank you very much. but it won't mean crap if they score another one.

Leon: Hey Skool hows the groin?

Skool: i don't know. i should try it out. Hey BC could you cum with me for a moment?

BrodeurChick: ok, just lead the way

(Skool and BC step into another room. Tony will give the rest of the 1st intermission pep talk.)

Tony: like he said we need goals.we need to score!

Socom: i can score

Tony: not that kind you horny freak!

Socom: no really! i can score dude.

Tony: yeah...we'll see

(In the bad Guys locker room)

Liquid: Will you all quit screwing around! We need goals here! I luv ass-kicking as much as much as the next guy but we need to score!

Reno: i can Score!

Liquid: don't be a dumbass extrordinaire! You know what i mean!

Eleana: don't worry i'll take care of it. (she's already shining her pipe for the third period.)

Liquid: Rude! are you still with us?

Rude:huh? what? oh yeah im still here.

Liquid: It doesn't look like you're trying out there.

Rude: what? im trying. ::to save Tifa that is::

Liquid: ok. just step it up a little bit.(Feels aomething in his pocket) The ending of this game is gonna be fantastic.

Rude: (Feels something in his pocket) Yes, Yes it is.

Second Period

Good guys locker room

Cloud: it's1to 1. If we lose I'll have to throw antoher person into the lake.

Socom: I know..

Cloud:.......

Cloud: Let's go win ourselves a game

Skool: Yeah,

Socom: Yup....

Skool: If were gonna win we have streamline our damn defense.

Cloud:........

Socom: Most of the time of the game you always did that.

Cloud: But-

Cloud: Is my hair messed up?

Socom: I know how you feel. We're going to win this.

RH: Here we are back at San Jose Arena. Its the start of the second perios and it looks to be one heluva game.

SK: Yes Randy it should be. And what a game its been so far. i've never seen so much action in my life.

15:00

Cloud: Yaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!

Cloud is kinda hyped up and hiding his depression

Socom: Never seen him do that before?!

Skool: ::shrugs:: i dunno you tell me

Stewert iniates faceoff

Rude: ..........

Cloud:........

Socom: That's what you all say.

Puck falls on ground and Cloud gains possesion and shimmys left and right to the goal, until Rude checks him into the board

Rude: .......!

Cloud: Aghh! Damn. My leg.

Cloud: I'll go on! I don't give a crap!

13:02

Skool: Pass it here!!

Cloud: Uhm, whatever.

Cloud passes to Skool and the puck swooshs but is intercepted by Rude

Rude: ........

Passes to Reno, but Cloud slames Reno into the glass

Cloud: Yah!!!!!!!!!!

Cloud takes the puck into the zone determined to get this one himself

Claire: He's possesed i tell you.

Cloud makes like Alexander Korlyouk and starts breaking out his sick ass moves

Cloud: Hey Eddie! Suck this!

Bel4: ?!!

Cloud musters all his strength and slaps one home

RH: SCORRRRE! And Cloud puts one right through the five hole!

Cloud: Damn I'm good!

He swings stick like his buster sword waving his fist in victory

A new Tyrant Lindros drops out from the upper bowl hulking around the Rink

Tyrant: G-TEAM..... G-TEAM........G-TEAM!!!!!!!!!

Claire & Leon: o man these new tyrants can talk now. There smarter than before. When will it end?!

Tyrant choke slams Cloud and knocks him on the rink

Stewert: Go to the penalty box! 2 minutes for roughing! 

Crowd: Yah!!!!!!!!!!

Tyrant: BAD CALL....BAD CALL.........

Cloud is knocked out cold

Claire runs towards Cloud

Meanwhile on the catwalk

Tifa: Cloud! No! Damn it!

Meryl: Don't worry.....

Back on the Ice

Claire: Cloud! Cloud! Speak to me!

Cloud:oooooo look at the pretty colors! o hi Claire, you're looking damn good today!

Claire: O man...

Cloud takes a quick little glance upwards

Cloud: Tiii....faaa

Claire: you're gonna have to sit out the rest of this period.

Cloud is dragged to the locker room

Socom: Looks like were screwed. Cloud is-

Snake: Don't worry we'll win, maybe......

10 Minutes Later..........

RH: The score is 2-1 and there is only five seconds left in the period.

The team is on the bench planing their plays

Leon: What are we gonna do?

Snake: Hmm.....

Snake: Let's just get this over with.

Leon: Why are u being negative.

Snake smokes a cig and thinks

Snake:.... Nothing

The G Team gets back into the rink

The two teams face off once again

Snake: Listen u ugly ass son of a bitch.

Tyrant: G-TEAM......

Tyrant Lyndros gets the puck and slams into the net and making a goal

Snake: DAMN! Cloud and I are gonna have a bad day, a FUCKING bad day.

Snake puts his head down in depression

Shields: o hell! i didn't even see that! Al MacInnis couldn't even fire a slapper that fast!

RH: And Thats the end of the Second period.

SK: What a way to end it! With Five Seconds left that Lindros clone just fired that puck from center ice. Steve didn't even see it. Like radio waves I tell you!


	4. Third Period

In the locker room

Skool: O man im beat.....unhhhhhhhhh i need a refill. fleeeeesh

Leon: Are you ok man?

Claire: you're not turning into a zombie are you?

Skool: no...i just need energy. hey BC will you come with me for a second.

BrodeurChick: Certainly.

Once again they walk into that side room

Snake: Forget the cigs. Im too friggin anxious. i need a cigar.

Damps hands him a cuban

Damps: Here you go. Only the best man. Try not to go overboard though, that stuff'll kill you.

Snake: mmmmm groovy. Thanks.

Tony: Well im glad we're all relaxed now. We need more scoring. We don't need to break this tie, we need to shatter it.

Socom: Lemme check with our ace in-the-hole.

Socom radios Gabe

Socom: Gabe where are you?

Gabe: I up in girders.

Socom Do you see Meryl and Tifa?

Gabe: yeah.....but...

Socom: but what?

Gabe: There's no one up here. There's no guards, no one.

Socom: hhmmmmm Well proceed with caution. We need to get them outta there. Radio back when you got them down.

Gabe: ETA 12 minutes Logan out.

Socom: So far so good up stairs.

Leon: How you holding up Cloud?

Cloud holds an ice pack on his head

Cloud: owwwww I've been better. unhhhh that cheap shot artist.......im gonna kill him.

Leon: Its the third period you just might get the chance. This is when we get to hurt each other. But first have some of this.Leon pulls out a bottle of whiskey

Cloud: Whiskey?

Leon: I'm Irish ain't I? Drink up you'll feel better. Im so loose right now.

Cloud: you sure?

Leon: Drink I say!

Cloud: Geeze... im drinkin, im drinkin

Skool and BC come back out. BC's neck is bandaged

Claire: uhhh Skool umm.....what....o nevermind im not going to ask.

Skool: I feel groovy now. Lets kick some ass and chew some bubble gum.

Cammi: mmmmmm bubble gum. That always gets me in the mood. Juicy fruit gets you going. Trust me i've got a gold medal to prove it!

Shields: One helluva time to be endorsing products, eh?

Skool: we'll do the products later. One quick tip y'all. I've watched a lotta hockey film in my life time. If you're gonna shoot on belfour take that bad boy top shelf. He always goes down.

Snake: top shelf huh........ill remeber that.

Meanwhile In the Bad guys locker room

Liquid: I've paid millions for NHLers and i got the three stooges!

Fleury: Hey! me and Claude set up that first one didn't we?

Claude: Yeah you stiff ass Brit! says something in French

Bel4: A little anal aren't you?

Reno: .....or worried perhaps.

Liquid: Why would I be worried we've got security and our ace in-the-hole.

Rufus: yeah but it would be good if we actually won fairly.

Scarlet: "good" and "fairly"? have you become a softee?

Elena: Men......always got to have it perfect. o well we get have some real fun now. Third period bashing time. Im gonna take out that _el escudo_.

Liquid: Yes, fun.......I couldn't kill him physically......i'll kill him emotionally. Then he'll just kill himself. Isn't this great Rude?

Rude deep in thought

Rude: Huh?....o yeah its a bitchin plan.

Liquid: you're not paying attention again

Rude: sorry just going over some plays in my head. The trap and what not.....

Liquid : Thinking too hard can hurt you. You're not one of the Sutter brothers.

Elena: Lets just get out there. I wanna hurt someone.

out on the ice. Everybody is warming up for the third period. Snake is talking with Steve Harwell from Smash Mouth

Snake: Steve, ever get nervous before a concert.

Steve: Hell Ya. Every freaking time.

Snake: What do you do then to calm yourself down?

Steve: I just say to myself "screw this, im gonna go out there and do the best show ever" and then i eat some ribs.

Snake: Screw this, im gonna do the best show ever.

Steve: Here you go. Hands him some ribs

Snake: Thanks. takes a bitemmmm theses are damn good. Its been a while since i had some good meat.

Steve: Go win this for your woman.

Meanwhile, Claire is talking with Brandi Chastain and Cammi

Claire: What do you two before a game to get ready? You 've got a gold medal on the line.

Cammi: Would you like to tell her?

Brandi: Certainly......you just say to yourself "I can't possibly do any worse then the guys who do the exact same sport in olympic competion." the men's US Soccer team sux.

Cammi: Yeah and the Men's olympic hockey team thrased there places after they lost.

Claire: Thanx......can't do any worse......can't do any worse.

Still mean while Hax is talking with RonGon, the mayor of San Jose

Skool: Ever get stressed being a minority and a leader?

Ron: Yes. But you gotta look beyond that. You gotta look to what can be acheived after you get through an obstacle. Try not to let the minuscle things to get to you and concentrate on the Major Problems. Then fix the major things and then work on the minor issues.

Skool: Major things.....then minor.

Ron: also if you make promises you gotta keep them.

Skool: You mean like getting BART down to San Jose before you're outta office?

Ron: exactly, or at least find great substitutes.

Skool: thanx

RH: It is now time to start the third period. It is gonna get rough here!

SK: Thats right Randy. This is the bashing period. That means ther are NO PENALTIES! They are gonna be using anything to cause each other pain. It's gonna be like Wrestlmania here!

Back on the ice

Stewart: ok...im gonna drop this puck and then im gonna back away and then you guys are gonna start hurting each other while trying to score. got it?

Leon: Yeah, I got it.

Rufus: yeah just drop the damn thing.

Stewart drops the disc. Leon, being in a drunken rage from the whiskey, bitch slaps Rufus with his stick.

Leon: Eat wood bitch!

RH:oooooo and Kennedy lays the high stick smack down on Rufus and skates rapidly into the zone.

SK: He's looking for a quick goal here. 

Leon: C'mon Eagle boy gimmie something to shoot at.

Bel4: Try and get past my you stupid drunk!

Leon: Just watch!

RH: Kennedy passes up on the shot! He takes it behind the net.

SK: Holy cow he's gonna do the puck-on the-stick- move!

RH: the puck is actually on the head of the stick. Goes left then right left right left right belfour is juked out GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLL! What a move by Leon Kennedy!

SK: what ever he's taking i want some of it!

Leon: Im damn good!Skates slowly to the bench

Tony: Now thats what im talking about!

Leon: o man my friggin head. I think i had a little too much happy water.

Cammi: Here's some ice and some coffee. this should make you feel a little better.

Leon: thanks. owwwwwww

Skool: next line get out there we ain't done yet!

Face off again

Stewart: This is the most unbelivable thing i've ever witnessed.Drops the puck

RH: Elena takes faceoff and....shoots it into the zone?

SK: She shot it in from center ice.....unbelivable.

RH: Shields comes out of the net to get the puck.....Elena just clubbed him in the back of the leg with a lead pipe and scorred! 

SK: unbelivable! clubbed steve shields then took the puck and scored.

Elena: All hail to the Pipe Queen!

Shields: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! My leg my leg! O god !

Tony and Damps come rushing over

Damps: Shieldsy speak to me man!

Shields: unnnnnhhhhhhhh my leg unnnnnhhh that bitch clubbed me!

Tony: o man you knee joint is dislocated. It can be fixed by popping it back into place but we're gonna have to wait till the swelling goes down.

Shields writhes in pain. Tony and Damps help him to the bench

Shields: Ain't no way in hell im going back out there.Sorry Hax.

Skool: Its fine man we've got a back up.....BC! Start warming up!

BrodeurChick: Yippie ki ya

Skool and BC skate out to the net

Skool: You like pressure BC?

BrodeurChick: I like a good challenge.

Skool: Well then take a quick look up to the ceiling. The lives of those two up there are in your hands.

BrodeurChick: Groovy.....

Skool: Make like wall baby. Skool kisses the forhead of BC's goalie mask

Skool: Don't worry about it. All you gotta do is stop a little black rubber disc.

Stewart: alright lets gett this thing started again.

once again the face off

RH: We' ready to start it up again and Skool takes the face off.

SK: And he passes it right to Solid Snake who is then cross checked by his brother Liquid!

Liquid: hahaha I didn't realize that you liked the tastes of oak so much!

Snake: thats it drop the gloves you want sum come get some!

SK: Solid gets off a free quick shots but then Liquid kicks him right into the glass!

Solid: unnnhhh!

Liquid: I'm turn your head into mush!

Solid: Mush? Is that brtish for oatmeal you limey bastard!

Liquid: you jest....

Liquid gets solid in a choke hold and starts slamming his head against the ice

Liquid: Don'tslambeslamsuchslamaslamsmartslamass.

Solid: Get of off this!

SK: Solid and Liqid are litterally at each others throats!

RH: In all my years i have never seen two people wanting to kill each other so badly.

Cammi: Those two are genetic equals right?

Claire: Yeah...

Cammi: and unless some one intervenes they're gonna just keep wrestiling and chocking each other till they die. Right?

Claire: Theoreticlly speaking, yes. What's your point?

Cammi: Just watch.

RH: Cammi Granato is skating over to the brew ha-ha over by the boards.

SK: She may be looking to break this up. And i do mean break.

Cammi: Enuff of this....

Cammi breaks her stick over Liquid's back

Liquid: unnnhhhhh!

Solid: oooo Hurt don't it! Thanks Cam.

Cammi: no prob. but we still have a game to win. Go score one for Meryl.

Snake: yeah...thats what im going to do.

Liquid gets up

Liquid: This isn't over yet!

RH: Cloud and Cammi skate it into the zone. They pass back and forth. A 3 on 2 is forming with Sanke coming in from the far side. They pass back and forth. Cloud with the cross ice pass to Snake, he takes it top shelf....GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!

SK What a beauty! Snake went right for Belfour's weak spot. Eddie always goes down.

Snake: Yessssssssssssss! hey Hax you were right. Top-shelf.

Skool: I told you man i told You!

Snake skates by the bench and slaps his teamates hands. Then points at Liquid and gives the "you're going down" hand motion

Liquid: I want you to put that puck in the net!

Rufus: What you makes you all high and mighty? You try getting by that chick. She's like a friggin brick wall! Why don't you score us a goal?!!

Liquid: You question my ability?! We shall see.

Rufus: yeah I bet. I'm beggining to doubt all this.

Reno: Have a little faith you jerk! the man says hes gonna put the biscuit in basket then he will. Won't you?

Liquid: yes. We're gonna kill someone today. And i'll be the reason why!

While all this action is going on Logan is up in the rafters trying to get Tifa and Meryl free

Gabe: Im here to bust you two out.

Meryl: Thank god!

Tifa: brrrrrr.......yeah its freezin up here. I couldn't poss.....LOOK OUT!

Gabe:Huh?

Gabe dodges just in time to dodge a barrage of bullets

Gabe: What the hell?

he sees a buncha genomes and the bitch who won't die, Mara Aramov

Aramov: hahahaha! Logan you fool. Did you think you could just waltz up here and just take theses two!

Gabe: Is that a trick question?

Aramov: Still the same smart talking New Jersey boy. see if you can talk your way out of getting shot. These genome soldiers here are under my complete contol. Prepare for a lead shalacking!

A gunfight between Gabe and the genomes ensues. Gabe radios Socom

Socom: Gabe?!

Gabe: AHHHHHHHHHHH! Holy crap!

Socom: what is it?!

Gabe: Im under attack here! Aramov is up here with a buncha genomes.BLAM BLAM BLAM

Hurry up and win this damn thing so you can get the hell up here!

Socom: Just hold them for a while ok?!

Gabe: I can't hold them forever you know!

Socom: Hold them!

Socom turns to Skool

Socom: Hax, we got a slight problem.

Skool: What are you talking about?

Socom: Take a look up to the rafters.

Skool discreetly takes a quick glance upwards and sees flashes from gunfire

Skool: o hell....

Socom: I know man. I hope he can hold them.

Skool: We still got a game to win. W-I-N man W-I-N Whats Important Now. He's pulled some unbelivable stuff in his lifetime. He'll be fine up there. He's got more ammuniton on him than the sporting goods department at S-mart.

Stewart initaiates the face off

RH: This place is rocking! I can barely hear my self speak.

SK: Not a single thing! There could be gunfire and you couldn't tell!

RH: here comes the faceoff. Scarlett takes it into the zone.

Skool: defense get back! there in the zone there in the zone!

Scarlett: Elena heads up!

RH: Scarlett passes to Elena then back to Scarlett she shoots Stopped by BC!

SK: Here comes the rebound and stopped again!

BrodeurChick: ahhhhhhhhh!!!

Skool: Defense i tell you defense! She can't hold them much longer!

RH: BC is facing an onslaught of shots!

SK: The defense has got to get in there and get that rebound!

RH: Liquid gets the puck....

Liquid: A brick wall......we'll see....

RH: Liquid looks to take this one himself. A slapper from the from just outside the face-off circle GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAL!

SK: That there was just a perfectly timed slapper right through the five hole!

Liquid: I told you! I told you! I told you we'd win this game! There all going to die!

BrodeurChick: Dammit! she breaks her stick over the crossbar in frustration

Skool: Holy hell BC!

BrodeurChick: Dammit I let that one through!

Skool: It's not your fault. We couldn't setup the friggin defense. they got a jump on us. You were totally under fire.

BrodeurChick: But now its tied! We're screwed!

Skool: This game isn't over yet. They came to me for help. Im gonna help them.

Hax is determined to make BC feel better

Skool: Just watch baby. We'll win this. I bet all ive got on it.

Hax takes a look at the clock

Skool: Timeout!

RH: Hax takes his team's only timeout here late in the third.

SK: He is definetly planning something. What though I do not know.

RH: It's proabaly something big!

Skool: Ok everybody gather around.We need to kill the clock for just a minute and a half.

Cammi: what for?

Skool: Y'all remeber the 1980 winter olympics when we beat the Soviets?

Damps: Whats your point.

Skool: Let me be a jerk about this, IVE GOT DIBS ON THIS GOAL! BC is feeling like hell!

Damps: so you just wanna score so you're woman feels better? is that it?!

Skool: Isn't that why we're here? So that two women will feel a lot better than they would if we weren't here?

Claire: he's got a point. so you think you can get it?

Skool: I know so. Listen, we need to kill the clock till its down near nothing. Then I want Damps to drop pass it to me. I'll take care of the rest. Mike Erouzione style.

RH: here comes the faceoff. Taken by the good team. And they start passing it back and forth in their own zone.

SK: Looks like they want to score the final goal. They're gonna kill the clock and then they're gonna have their final rush.

RH: 15 seconds left.....here comes that final rush......Damps with the puck slightly ahead of Hax they cross the blue line....8 seconds......Damps at the top of the circle....6 seconds....drop pass back to hax....4 seconds....Hax with the quick wrister....1second...... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

SK: Holy Crap! With just seconds left in the game Hax scores the game winning goal!

Hax high steps like Mike Erouzione around the rink

Skool: YAAAAAAAAAA! Who da man Who da man?!

Cloud: He called it! he told us he'd score it and he did!

Snake:Hell YA! We won! Yesssss!

Damps:hell ya hax you scored that thing.

Skool: Hey I couldn't have done it without your pass.

Everyone skates out to center ice to congratulate Hax on the goal

Socom: yo lemme check in on Gabe.

Socom radios Gabe

Socom: yo Gabe we won!

Gabe: What? Why the hell are the genomes still shooting at me? If we won they should be backing off. Somethings wrong!

Socom: what the hell.....hey guys the genomes are still shooting at Gabe.

Cloud: what the hell they should be.....

Every body looks at the e-team

Cloud: what the hell is going on?!

Liquid: You didn't actually think i was going to let them go did you?

Cloud: ?!

Liquid pulls out a remote control

Liquid: It is now time to splat!

Solid: What?! We won! you little freaks!

Liquid: Prepare to watch them die!

Liquid presses the button and nothing happens

Liquid: What the hell?! Its not working!

Rude: Is this what you're looking for?Rude pulls out another remote control I got the real remote control right here!

Liquid: You backstaber! pulls out a FA-MAS You will die for this!

Liquid guns down Rude

Skool: AHHHHHHHH!!! G-team draw your weapons!

Snake: Eat lead!!!!!!!!!!

G-team mows down the E-team. The bodies of the E-team are sprawled all over the ice.

Rude: unnhhh Here........Rude uses the remote to slowly lower Tifa and Meryl to the ice

Socom skates over and unties them

Meryl & Tifa: o thank God.....

Each runs to their loved ones

Tifa: Cloud! O im so glad to be with you again! 

Cloud: me too.....It must have been terrible.

Tifa: I got it pretty easy, a little bit of freezing and my wrists are a little sore. but it doesn't matter......now that im back with you! Cloud holds Tifa tightly

Meanwhile on the other side of the ice

Meryl: David!puts her arms round his neck and squeezes him

Snake: Meryl........you're ok ....thank God.

Meryl: owwwww my head feels like its gonna explode....but i should be fine especially since we're back together.

Snake: I thought ....I thought .......he had the control and everything.....

Meryl: don't worry Mr.Anxious, its over now.

Rude:o.... man....

Tifa: Rude?!

Tifa runs over to Rude

Tifa: w...ww...why....

Rude: I....I was evil.....thats why we we're always antagonists against each other.....cough hack unhhhh.....but...i had......a thing for you.......despite how much i loved being the bad guy i could never bring myself to hurt you......I saw how happy you and Cloud were......I never wanted to interfere.....I just wanted .....you to be happy......please....enjoy your life.....promise me that so i can die a happy man.

Tifa: I promise.

Rude:Thank you......good bye Tifa....

Rude dies on the cold ice

Tifa: he gave himself up for me......

Cloud: i guess.....i guess he wasn't so evil after all

Skool: Ahem......not to sound inconsiderate.....but i gotta get the zamboni and clean up all the bodies....i do have a lease on this place that i gotta abide by.

Leon: we understand. Do whatever it is you need to do.

Hax scans the ice

Skool: ummmm, Snake where's your brother?

Snake: What?! what are you talking about?!

Skool: well he was just lying here about a minute ago and now his body is gone.

A loud rumbling can be heard form the opposite end of the ice. Liquid coomes out hauling ass on a zamboni and packing a FA-MAS

Liquid: SNAAAAAAAAAKE! Die!

Liquid points the FA-MAS at Solid and Meryl but then suddenly.....

Liquid: ahhhhhhh! what....i can't move........

A voice from the upper bowl

Voice: His name is David you limey! Now eat missile!

An anti-tank missle flies into the zamboni blowing it straight to hell along with Liquid

Snake: what the hell?!

Skool: Brian?! what the hell are you doing here?

Brian: I thought you could use a little back up. 

Brenda: Hiya Hax!

Skool: You're here too Brenda?

Brenda: yuppers

Brian: someone had to be the security device in case Liquid came back from the dead again.

Skool: How.....how did you pull this off?

Brenda: well first of all we had to get these paralysing drugs into Liquid

Brian: Brenda took care of that. He's got a huge ego.

Brenda: Yeah so all i had to do is warm up to Liquid and poke him with this needle. He was so busy listening to me tell him how much i like evil, that he didn't even notice.

Brian: Then of course we waited up here with this AT missile.

Snake: Well thank God you were here. I've had one too many surprises today.

Socom: Hold on a sec guys.

Radios Gabe

Socom: You there Gabe?

Gabe: Yeah, Im here.

Socom: What about the genomes and Aramov?

Gabe: the genomes are dead. Aramov got away, but thats ok. I'm gonna need her alive for Syphon Filter 2. hold on a sec and ill be right down.

Gabe rappels down to the ice

Gabe: Im glad this has ended. 

Skool: well now that this is all over how about we all go to my house for a little celebration...

The next day. Saturday evening. Everyone is a Hax's house. Some mad tunes are being squelched

Skool: Hey Socom catch!Throws him a piece of tri-trip

Socom: I got it i got it!Falls into the pool

Skool: o man......

Socom: Hey Hax the pool is warm....

Skool: yeah so whats your point?

Leon: I thought you said the heater was broken.Leon chilling on an intertube still trying to work off the hangover from the whiskey

Skool:You see that hose over there? I hooked it up to the hot water heater.

Leon: You're jacking up your heating bill for us?

Skool: Only the best for my friends.

Later that night

Snake: Thanks again for helping us.

Cloud: yeah if it weren't for you two, I don't know what we would of done.

Meryl: Thank you for everything.

Tifa: We all owe you one. A huge one. If you ever need anything....

Skool: Don't mention it. I'm just glad we could help.

Socom: Im an SCEA agent. I'm just doing my job. They pay me to do this kinda stuff.

Laughter ensues

Still even later that night

Skool: Hey Gabe, Leon, Claire come over here for a sec.

Gabe: Yeah?

Skool: I got a few gifts for y'all.

holds out some airplane tickets.

Skool: Leon, heres a ticket to DC. Those feds wanna talk to you and whatnot.

Leon: o yippie ki ya. Thanks man.

Skool: Claire, this is for you. Its for the Concorde to Pairs. From there someone will pick you up. Go and find Chris.

Claire: Thanx Hax.

Skool: Gabe, american Airlines flight 799 to Alma-ata, Kazahkastan. Go find out that cure for Syphon Filter.

Gabe: Thanks. Lian is one of the few people i can trust. I've known her for years.

Skool: I know what its like man. go and do what needs to be done....

They finished off the Evil Team. It was all over now. They went on back to their happy lives. Pay-per-view made one helluva profit of the game. Everything was good in San Jo.  


****

The End

So whaddya think. Me and socom started writing this thing back in August of 99, which is when all theses events take place. We put a lotta work in to it. So i hope you enjoyed it. By the way im known as Delo now. BlackDeLo@aol.com Sequels were made to some of the stuff I've written about. so, there fore there are a few descrepencies. For instance in RE3 the city got nuked. Mike Vernon has sinced gotten traded to Florida. and buncha other stuff. Just work with me on this will ya? Speaking of sequels Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty is coming out. It looks groovy. For a preview go to incite.com. Anything else socom?


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